Quailman

Quail by flickr user Cal Holman

Brett: Which do you like more, cats or dogs?

Lori: I like dogs more, probably.  But I'll give lots of hugs and kisses to either.

Brett: As a renter, though, you're probably limited in what kind of pets you can have.

Lori: It's sort of a game of descriptions.  Say I had a pit bull, which basically no one allows... I would just say I had a terrier mix.

Brett: And if you had a pet quail?

Lori: If I had a pet quail I'd be insane.  Can you imagine how my coworkers would dish about that.

Brett: Sometimes you've got to go against the grain.  Zag where others zig.  Leave your mark.  Own a pet quail.

Lori: Ok.  But at the first glare from a stranger, the quail is yours.

Brett: Deal.  I just hope it doesn't lead to an epic battle between the stranger and me.

Lori: I'll try to guard the exits if you need to play dirty.

Brett: That's sweet of you.

Lori: Ow.  I thought you were going to say brave...

Brett: You did tee that up for me.  I apologize for complimenting you incorrectly.

Lori: Yes, well... I could have coached you better for that joint effort.

Brett: I feel like such a dork.

Lori: Dork or no, you are near and dear to me.  ; )

Disfrutar de su lectura

Spanish 101 by flickr user Ben Tesch

Lori: Oi!  That's 'hi' in Portuguese.

Brett: Impressive!  Speaking foreign languages is good for your id.

Lori: Re: foreign languages... I basically know nothing.  I took a quarter of Spanish in 7th grade, and then nothing.

Brett: I'm basically in the same boat as you.  I actually took 4 years of Spanish, but we had 5 teachers in those 4 years, so I didn't really learn that much.

Bear-y Christmas!

Santa Paws by flickr user Tarra Diddle

Brett: Can you think of a better Christmas pet pun than "Santa Paws"?

Lori: Bah... Puns are more my mom and Aunt Lyn's thing... But maybe, Bear-y Christmas?

We wish you a Merry Christmas

christmas carolers by flickr user Elaine Lombardo

Brett: I know you're not a huge fan of Christmas songs.  But they're very educational.  I don't know where else I would have learned that cattle lowed.

Lori: It's not that I'm not a big fan, it just needs to be the right time of year.  I have to be in the mood for it, you know?

Brett: I understand.  But there's no better aid for spreading Christmas cheer once December rolls around.

Emmet Otter

Philadelphia Jug Band by flickr user USciences

Lori: Ever play tunes on a jug?

Brett: I haven't.  Do you think our gran ever did?

Lori: I'd say the chances are pretty good, yeah.

Five Dollar Footlong

Spicy Italian Footlong by flickr user Morton Fox

Lori: What kind of grub did you have for dinner?

Brett: I found myself in the mood for Subway tonight.  First time I've had it in a long time.

Abracadabra

Brett: If you had a magic wand, what spell would you cast first?

Lori: Ooooh.  I think I'd probably try flying first.  Or freeze time.  Just thinking of all the possibilities makes my arm hairs stand on end... in a good way.

Brett: You're more creative than I am.  I was going to say I'd use it to make a free za.

Lori: I might use it for quick travel too.  How cool would it be if I could just wave a wand and roam across Scotland as easy as that?

Brett: Gee, that would be neat!  Er... sorry for sounding like someone from the 1950's.

Lori: No worries, I liked it.

You're the top

Two Christmas tops, actually

Brett: When was the last time you played with a top?

Lori: Oh, at some point in the days of my youth I tinkered with one here or there... but I don't know that I've ever played with a top intentionally.  Did you have one of your own?

Brett: I got a Christmas one as a stocking stuffer once, and put it out with my Christmas decorations.  Do you want me to fax you a picture of it?

Lori: No.  I don't have a fax machine.  Thanks, though.

What we're thankful for

Thanksgiving dinner by flickr user brixton

Lori: How was your Thanksgiving?

Brett: Good.  I didn't go anywhere, so it was pretty low-key, but I did a little cooking, and my favorite parts of Thanksgiving dinner went past my teeth.  You?

Lori: Also low key.  Just J and I in our little apartment.  But it was nice.  I got to stay in my pj's all day, so I wouldn't have swapped it.

The Pie Hole

Pie Fight by flickr user jimmyweee

Lori: Do you have any favorite types of pies for the holiday?

Brett: Obviously I prefer cream pies, so that I can throw them in people's faces as a prank.

Lori: I can see it now.  One perfectly aimed cream pie will comet across the room and land bullseye on the unsuspecting face.  Clap the slate, that's a wrap.  No need for a second take.

Bon Appetit

Fresh Squid by flickr user Josh*m

Brett: Have you ever eaten squid?

Lori: Yuck.  No way.  Tentacle creep me out!!

Brett: You never know, you might like it.  Mikey liked Life cereal.

Lori: My tummy throws fits just thinking about it.  Eeeh.

Dream home

Home Theater NY by flickr user Av-Setup

Brett: Does your dream home have a den?

Lori: Sure.  But what I'd like most is a media room that looks like a vintage theatre.  With way comfier seating.

Brett: That's an awesome idea!  I would definitely come watch movies with you.

Lori: You should! We would have the most fun, ever.  : )

Shh... it's a secret

Secrets by flickr user kelsey_lee18

Brett: True or false: Tiny Dancer is secretly your favorite song.

Lori: False.  Elton can really rip through that falsetto, but my secret favorite song is probably either More Than Words or the Be With You song by Mr. Big.  You know that one?

Brett: Of course.  What can I say, I'm a guy who loves power ballads.

Mo' Money, Mo' Horses

Lottery_9060 by flickr user aepoc

Brett: If you ever win the lottery, what's the first thing you'll buy?

Lori: Oh, man.  How neat would that be?!?  Depending on how much I won, I'd pay off my bills, help out some family, take myself on an international vacation, then I'd probably buy myself a house.  Assuming that I had any money left, haha.  You?

Brett: Probably a similar list.  And maybe a horse.  Then I could canter around town and let everyone be jealous of me.

Lori: A horse would be hilarious.  Why didn't I think of that when I fictionally won?!

It ain't cool being no jive turkey so close to Thanksgiving

Settings: Brightness by flickr user pouwerkerk

Lori: Do you prefer your phone settings bright, or is it set to dim?

Brett: Whatever the default was.  I ain't no jive turkey that messes around with settings.

Lori: It's not that difficult!!  Way easier than putting a hex on someone, I'd bet.

I went to the animal fair

Zoo Entrance... Zootrance? by flickr user lostinbeta

Lori: How many different zoos have you been to?

Brett: Hmm... I'd have to think about it, but my guess is around 5.

I'm on a boat

Enchantment of the Seas by flickr user Craig Stanfill

Lori: What's the largest boat you've ever been on?

Brett: I've been on a few cruises.  I can't say for sure (I mean, I didn't measure them all), but I think the biggest was the Royal Caribbean ship called Enchantment of the Seas.

Lori: Did you have to use motion sickness meds or is it a smooth ride?

Brett: I don't really have problems with motion sickness.  It's a fairly smooth ride, but if you go on a cruise and are worried about it, I'd suggest you take precautionary medicine, lest you end up getting sick and not enjoying your vacation.

Lori: Is it true there's always a hidden fee on cruises?

Brett: Well, there is an extra fee if you don't want them to remove a lung while you're asleep, but they're pretty up front about that.

Banana is the best artificial fruit flavor

Now and Laters by flickr user Lunchbox Photography

Lori: Do you like Now & Later candy?

Brett: I do.  Especially the banana ones.  But I'm not sure where exactly they are on the tasty/healthy snack grid.

Lori: I can't see being able to drop them into the healthy category.  Probably taste only.

Brett: Maybe I'll hire someone to research that, just to make sure.

Here's a little blog we wrote

Metro train over the Potomac by flickr user LR_PTY

Lori: What is the price of fuel in DC?

Brett: Dude, I drive so infrequently I don't really know.  I just pay whatever they ask when I do need to fill up.

Lori: Public trans for you, then?  Does it take a while to figure out or was it pretty easy right off the bat?

Brett: Yep, I take the Metro to work.  I thought it was pretty easy to figure out, but it helped that when I first moved out here I lived at the end of a line, so it was impossible to get on the train in the wrong direction.  It's nice, you just put in the headphones, play a little Bon Jovi "Blaze of Glory" (or something equally awesome), and relax on the way to work instead of stressing over traffic.

Lori: I try to use the el when I'm in Chicago, but I can't stop worrying that I'll miss my stop.

Brett: Anyone worth his salt can tell you you shouldn't worry, you should be happy.

Bullet with Butterfly Wings

Caged by flickr user sean.granier

Brett: Don't you hate when people walk a round with a 'holier than thou' attitude?

Lori: I do.  Those people usually bite off more than they can chew as well...

Brett: My theory is it's all a façade, and internally they're worried that they're just another unimportant cog in the machine.

Lori: That's like that song... "still just a rat in a cage"... you know, that one.

Brett: Despite all my rage, I do know the song you're referencing.

For those about to rock, we salue you

Rock Band roadie by flickr user jaymiek

Lori: You remember when we formed the best band ever playing Rock Band?  Which did you prefer, drums or vox?

Brett: How could I forget?  I enjoyed playing the drums, fulfilling my latent regret over choosing to play trumpet in high school.  Plus our band was always at its best with you on vocals, duh!

I've heard of a barnburner, but this is ridiculous

Barn by flickr user dawidr

Lori: Does your dad tell you the stories of the shenanigans that used to occur with his brothers in a barn?

Brett: I bet you're thinking of the one that started with the question of who could build the biggest fire and still put it out.  If only they had realized there was only one way to lose that game.

Let's all go to the lobby

Popcorn by flickr user Poison Cupcakes

Lori: When you go to the movies, do you hog the popcorn bucket?

Brett: I like movie theater popcorn, but I usually can't eat too much of it.  After a few handfuls, I'd gladly trade the rest for some candy.

Good Mercutio

Summer Fun in the City - Flash Mob Dance by flickr user City of Melbourne - Official

Brett: Have you ever been part of a flash mob?

Lori: No, but I would in a second.  I keep waiting to be the unsuspecting winner of a new house or something, and to be informed via a flash mob.  Man... that would be a great day.

Brett: That would be awesome!  As long as nobody put a pox on both our houses.

Shutdown Showdown

kilts 013 by flickr user tamblackwood

Lori: Have you ever worn a kilt?

Brett: I have not.  But I have a friend who has, and he swears they are comfortable.

Lori: Well, if you ever try it... take a picture!!

Brett: I will.  I may even join Twitter and make that my first tweet.

Lori: Twitter is a bit like a drug.  I don't tweet much, but I check my feed at least three or four times a day.

Brett: Holy cow!  I better not join.

Lori: I'd follow you if you did though.  Your jokes are always right on the nose, and I usually laugh out loud.

Brett: Thanks!  I could probably come up with some jokes about my woe of being furloughed during the government shutdown...

Lori: I was wondering if this impacted your job.  Is there a roar of discontent in DC right now?

Brett: I'm sure there is, but I don't watch the news often, so I can't tell you exactly how bad it is.  I just know I'm not a fan of being temporarily unemployed.

Lori: I don't need to be told twice to understand that.  I'm sorry!!

Never an after thirst

Bowling Alley by flickr user Great Beyond

Brett: Do you remember Squirt soda?

Lori: I don't.  Sounds like it leaves a memory for you though.

Brett: No specific memories.  It was some sort of lemon-lime soda.  I hate to get even nosier, but were there any now-defunct sodas you liked as a kid?

Lori: Hmm.  Do they still make red creme soda?  It doesn't really go well with chips and dip, but I used to drink it at the bowling alley when I was little.  I called it "the pink drink."

Brett: I'm not sure if they still make red creme soda, but I bet it would go great with some za.

The Body

out for a shoulder stroll by flickr user elmofoto

Lori: Did you ever walk on railroad tracks like the kids in Stand by Me?

Brett: I have.  One time I even found an iguana by the tracks.

Lori: In my mind, you then put it on the back of your neck to ride along on your journey.

Nun of your business

Nun in habit, Brighton by flickr user Boston Public Library

Brett: What is your favorite movie that features a habited Whoopi Goldberg?

Lori: There are only two I'm aware of, but the second one is amazing.  When she leads the choir at that end performance..... it's movie magic.

Brett: I prefer the second one as well.  And yeah, their version of Joyful, Joyful?  That song is my jam.

More introverted by the day

Bashful & Dopey by flickr user mixtasy

Brett: Who was your favorite dwarf?  I always liked Dopey and Doc.

Lori: I always pass on Dopey.  I think he's the easy choice.  Maybe Bashful?

Brett: You?  Bashful? Ha!

Lori: Actually, yes!  It's strange, but I feel more shy the older I get.  I'd rather stay home and order a za than go out anymore.

Brett: I'm actually the same.  (We must be related.)  No more Delta Nu sorority parties or things like that for me.

Up, up and away

Up, Up & Away by flickr user pathensch

Lori: Have you hard the song that goes "Up, up and away in my beautiful, my beautiful balloon"?

Brett: Yup.

Lori: Do you think a ray of sunshine could rot a balloon... or at least melt it?

Brett: I do... It's science.

Lori: Eh... that's what he said?

Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto

Robot coin bank by flickr user toytent
The exact same model of robot bank that Brett had as a child.
(Those of you who knew Brett and Lori's grandmother will not be surprised to learn that this was an Avon product.)

Lori: Have you ever built a robot?

Brett: Never built one, but I had a robot coin bank as a kid.  When you lifted his arm, his mouth opened, then he 'ate' your coins.

Lori: That sounds fun.  I'd hire one of those.

Brett: Yeah, it really rained on my parade the day it broke.

Lori: Did you cry?  It's okay if you did.  It's just a reflex of being sad.

Brett: Did I cry?  Never has anyone shed purer tears than I did that day.

Lori: Aunt Lyn would probably have a pun ready for this moment.

Brett: She always does.  I'm too dim to come up with a good one.

Dance party!

bicep by flickr user greenfitness

Brett: Have you ever tried yoga?

Lori:  I took a stab at it by buying a CHS tape of yoga exercises... I'm not very good at it.  Have you?

Brett: Never yoga.  I've done all kinds or other stuff, though, including Zumba once.

Lori: Wait... really?

Brett: Are you asking about the Zumba?  Yes, really.  I have some friends who teach Zumba, and I was visiting once when they had a class, so they invited me along.  It's a good workout; you should see my flex my muscles now.

Lori: I imagine you knifed through the sleeves on yours shirts to make rooms for your guns.

Brett: Nah, I just tore the sleeves off.

Wrap it up

Handmade gift wrap by flickr user erika g.

Lori: What do you think of online gift giving?  Like... gift cards and such.  Would you prefer a gift in wrapping paper and bows?

Brett: Personally, I prefer to give online gifts that are wrapped.  Sure, it might cost a little extra to find someone who can gift wrap something virtual, but it's worth it.

Lori: I didn't even consider that option.  I'm glad you didn't give me a vague answer, as I'll probably use this in the future.

Slow and steady wins the race

The Tortoise and the Hare by flickr user ConstantineD

Brett: So we all know the story of the tortoise and the hare... But have you ever stopped to wonder if the hare was bribed by a gambler to throw the race?  I would imagine a bet on the tortoise would have payed off pretty big.

Lori: Ooh, maybe.  But let's give this story some edge.  I'll bet the hare made an under the table bet on the tortoise himself!

Brett: It's a scandal!  It's a outrage!  A multi-tooled athlete like that cheating the integrity of the race?  I'll never be able to listen to that story the same way.

Lori: Ah.  How we come to miss the naivety of youth...

Brett: I quite agree with you.

Liar liar pants on fire

lemon meringue pie by flickr user Haus Kat's recipes

Brett: What are your thoughts on lemon meringue pie?

Lori: I can't say I've ever actually had it.

Brett: You wouldn't lie to me, would you?

Lori: Of course not.  It's not like I'm telling you I've never eaten a salad or something.

More rum!

Rum tour by flickr user Jo Hennessey

Brett: How many rums can a man chug down, if he drinks as much rum as he can?

Lori: Er... I'd say however many he can before he pukes or blacks out.

Sometimes you feel like a nut

Burning Chair by flickr user juicyrai

Brett: True story: I once burned a chair in my fireplace.

Lori: Was this out of necessity, or did you give into a dare because you didn't want to look like a dork?

Brett: Not looking like a dork IS a necessity!  I kid, I kid.  The chair was broken and I had a fireplace, sor really I burnt it because it was the only logical thing to do in that scenario.

Lori: You are such a nut.

Brett: I'm glad you think so.  (That was a compliment, right?)

Lori: A huge compliment.  (If you take into consideration how few letters are left.)

Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum

Rum tasting bracket

Lori: Say, what was your favorite selection from the rum party you hosted?

Brett: There were a lot of good choices.  The winner was Pyrat, a Caribbean rum with hints of citrus and vanilla.  I'm not sure what kind of meal you'd pair that with, though.

Lori: Hmm.  Chicken probably.  If you boil it, it serves well with pretty much anything.

Duets

Duet by flickr user The Fox and the Polar Bear

Lori: If you could choose a duet partner, anyone living, who would you pick?

Brett: That's a tough question!  Right now I'd say Zooey Deschanel, but I might change my mind if you give me time to tidy up my thoughts.

Lori: Sure, but is there a con to picking Zooey?

Brett: Not that I can think of.

Ender's movie

ender's game by flickr user isaacwt

Brett: Are there any upcoming movies you're eager to see?

Lori: Thin pickings lately, but I'm pretty stoked that Ender's Game is finally being made into a movie.  I hope it does well, because the entire book series is amazing.

Brett: We can agree on the books being good.  But after seeing a trailer, I'm a little worried about the movie.

People with a big id, though...

EGO by flickr user siberfi

Lori: Do you think people who have a big ego are actually sad inside?

Brett: No.

Hostess is dead. Long live Hostess!

Raspberry Zinger by flickr user PinkCupcake

Lori: So, are you one of those people that love Twinkies?

Brett: You may think I'm loony, but I can take them or leave them.

Lori: No, I get it.  I actually don't like them.  I was sad that I think they've gotten rid of Zingers though.  Those red ones were delicious!

Oasis or Mirage?

I-80 Oasis by flickr user Carolynpom

Brett: How many oases do you think there are in the Sahara Desert?

Lori: I suppose it depends on how thirsty you are.  Wait.  Void that.  I was thinking of mirages...

Brett: Don't feel bad, they're easy to confuse.  I'm sure people confuse qi and id, as well.

Lori: You're probably right.  I will not hide in shame now.

Brett: I'm glad you decided to heed my advice.

Death and taxes

high heels by flickr user sedge808

Brett: Is sales tax expensive in Chicago?

Lori: Um, I don't spend a lot of time in the city.... But I bought a bottle of water last time I was there, and I think it's somewhere around 10%.

Brett: Oh.  10% is the sales tax in DC, too.  At least at restaurants.  I think it may be different at stores, but it's not like I often go shopping for high heel shoes or anything, so I'm not sure.

Lori: I would love to see the faces of the employees if you were trying on heels in their store.

Brett: I don't know, it could be a zen experience for them.

Lori: Awe, probably not.  I could see a spa day being zen-like.  You trying on heels would be a spectacle!

Toga! Toga! Toga!

toga! toga! toga! by flickr user sgoralnick

Brett: Have you ever been to a toga party?

Lori: Aren't those for frat boys?  I just went to a community college.  Not a big party scene.

Brett: According to the movies they're for frat boys.  But according to Saved by the Bell, toga parties also occur in high schools.  But that was post-Kelly and Jessie (during the dreaded Tori episodes), so I can't blame you if you've blocked out that memory.

Lori: Oh yeah.  Tori was a horrible addition to that show.  They should have given that idea the boot.

Pet sounds

Puppy vs Kitty… Fight! by flickr user Kyle Batson

Brett: If you were to get a pet, would it be a kitty, a pup, or something else?

Lori: Ha.  Realistically it would probably be a kitty.  They don't need walks and they poop in a box.  I am a total dog lover though.  The bigger the better.  They're just too expensive to own.

Brett: Ay, your logic makes sense.

Aloha!

Which way to the luau?

Lori: Ever worn a real Hawaiian lei?

Brett: Never a real flower one.  (Just the cheap plastic ones.)  But when we were in Hawaii I got a shell lei, if that counts.  The best part was it was free, and I didn't even have to pay any taxes on it!

Lori: No taxes?  I could really jive with that.

Don't let the bedbugs bite

Bedtime Rituals by flickr user sandravanbrenk

Lori: Do you have a specific routine at bedtime?  For example, I have to tuck my feet in or I can't go to sleep.

Brett: I don't really have a routine.  Other than brushing my teeth and turning off any lamps that are lit.

Childhood pleasures

Lori meeting Rush... greatest day of her life?

Brett: So, would you like to tell the WWC readers about your love of Rush?

Lori: Sure!  I usually have to dial it down so I don't embarrass myself.  They've been my favorite band for almost twenty years now.

Brett: I don't know if there's anything I've liked that much for two decades.  I envy you.

Lori: Wait a minute.  You mean to tell me there's nothing you fell into fifteen or twenty years ago that you still love?? That's kind of sad!

Brett: Not off the top of my head.  Is that bad for my qi?  Unless you count Roald Dahl books, which I've loved since I was a kid.

Lori: Of course that counts!!  How many books does he have?  Is there one that has an ogre?  That could be cool.

Brett: I'm torn between telling you about The BFG (which has giants that are probably the closest thing to ogres in his books, although the Twits are fairly ogre-like for humans) or being offended that you don't know his whole library well enough to answer that question yourself.

We just talked about kids' shows, because we're really smart

Blue's Clues Cake by flickr user Cakes Caboodle

Brett: The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: great show, or greatest show?

Lori: I'd go with great.  The size of the audience probably prevents it from being greatest.

Brett: You seem more knowledgeable about the show than I expected.  Do you watch it?  I've never seen a full episode, but from the bits I've seen, I think I'd need a bottle of something to sit through it.

Lori: I catch an episode every now and then, but it's actually off the air now.  But, yeah.  It took a little wine for me to commit to it, but the shows are pretty cute once you're invested.

Brett: Well, I have been known to watch Blue's Clues (though not in ages), so I won't judge you.

Lori: Isn't Blue just about the cutest little dog ever?!?  That show really lost its edge after Steve left though.  Joe was an absolute idiot.

Brett: Truth.  Steve was great, but I wanted to pull out each of the hairs on Joe's head, one by one.

Lori: Bet Blue didn't like him either.  We can all pretty much agree on that one.

Moving day, or movie day?

Moving Boxes by flickr user Bluesocks

Brett: Have you seen Monsters University?  I don't know if you remember this, but I owe you thanks for introducing me to Monsters, Inc.

Lori: I didn't remember.  But, you're welcome!!  I haven't seen it yet.  Haven't had a lot of time to burn in the movie theaters lately.

Brett: The first time I visited you in Chicago, we decided the hip thing to do would be staying in your apartment and watching a Pixar movie.  I'm a little offended that you don't recall it as vividly as I do.

Lori: The first time you visited me here I had lived in Chicago for one day.  I made you sleep surrounded in boxes like a nomad.  If it's any consolation, I remember the Cubbies game fondly.

Brett: I enjoyed it!  I don't give an ef about unpacked boxes.  I moved a couple months ago, and I'm still not completely unpacked.  I was impressed with how organized your apartment was after one day.

Lori: Thanks!  That's probably mostly due to my moving crew.  My brother and one of our friends really helped edit the way the boxes were arranged inside that tiny room.