African drugs, anyone?

Detail, Qat by flickr user A. Davey

Brett: I wonder if they'd allow qat through customs.

Lori: They might take a shine to it.

Brett: I don't know, they have a pretty specific list of what they will and won't allow, from a to zee.

Lori: This is true.

The problem with assumptions

Potosi mines, Bolivia by flickr user Irish Guy's World the World Trips

Brett: Question: Is an axe used while mining ore?

Lori: Isn't that the sort of thing you only learn in jail?  What a weird question.

Brett: If so, I need to meet some ex-cons, because I'm just sure I saw a glint of something that must be valuable.

Lori: What would you say the odds were of that happening?

Brett: The same as the odds of getting a zit after eating some za.

Lori: I'm going to assume those are pretty good odds, then.

Brett: You are able to safely make that assumption.

Lori: Good.  Sometimes assumptions can have grave consequences.

Brett: Right, right.  Ass, u, me, etc.  Then you'd need an omer of good luck to get things set back straight.

Lori: You really need to hone your measuring skills...

Brett: Says you.  I disagree, tho.

Ye Olde Blog Post

White Stag Grove by flickr user Eric E. Haas

Brett: Yo, are you a fan of those 'ye olde shoppe' types of places?

Lori: Ay... or aye?  Anyway, yes.  Take me to something like a renaissance faire and I'm all childlike enthusiasm.

Brett: I've only been to a ren faire once.  But it was kind of cool to see all the old-timey arts and crafts.

Real cousins support their cousins' entrepreneurship

Coffee Mug by flickr user bram_app

Brett: <played the word laden>

Lori: I do still try (in vain) to beat you at this game.  Alas, you must be laden with a game playing genius that cannot be beat.

Brett: I feel like such a hag for forgetting to use laden.  Thanks for picking up the slack for me.

Lori: In the end, I figure as long as one of us uses the word... we should be cool.

Brett: That seems fair.  We each get a chance to mend the other's mistakes.  That's what cousins are for, right?

Lori: Ah, Yeah!  Real cousins... help... got the... hmm.  I can't think of a slogan for us.  Like... Friends don't let friends drive drunk... but with cousins.

Brett: "Real cousins will always serve as your second if you find yourself in a duel"?

Lori: That seems a bit dramatic, though if you lost in a duel I'd probably scream really loud and start fighting.

Brett: I mean, if it's too intense, there are other options.  Like "a real cousin hails a cab for you when you're stuck in the rain."

Lori: Or even, "a real cousin brings you chow when you're stuck at work and hungry."

Brett: Either one would work.

Lori: You got it, dude.

Brett: If we made coffee mugs with the motto on them, do you think anyone would buy them?

Lori: There's no way you could get rich on this idea.  But we have a lot of cousins... we may be able to pressure them into buying enough to break even.

Brett: Yeah, if we could talk all our cousins into buying his and hers sets, we'd be off to a good start.

Lori: Ooh, good idea!  Wouldn't that be a joy?

...and on Father's Day, don't piss off your pa, either.

Motto by flickr user Steve Kodis

Brett: I don't give a whit what anyone else says.  Food tasates good.

Lori: While I am slow to disagree, surely this it too broad a statement?

Brett: You're right, of course.  I was being overly cautious about saying anything too controversial, lest my words metaphorically stab a potential friend.

Lori: I see.  Don't rock the boat and all that.

Brett: Right.  "Never piss off anyone other than your pa," that's my motto.

Lori: I see you've paved youself a pretty solid set of mottos then.

Brett: I do have several.  Here's another: "Don't count your ova before they're hatched."

Lori: I could swear I've heard that somewhere before.

Brett: Don't tease me like that.  Are you saying my mottos are going viral?

Lori: Er, no.  Just that (not unlike a raj) you may be repeating yourself.

Brett: I do like to go on about my mottos, so that wouldn't be surprising.

To sleep... perchance to dream

to sleep... perchance to dream by flickr user zippythesimshead

Lori: I'm so sleepy.  I just kept tossing and turning last night.

Brett: Isn't there some type of med you can take to help with that?

Lori: Probably.  I tried one once and I sank into a super heavy sleep... But I felt weird the whole next day.

Brett: Yeah, I hear they can give you weird dreams, too.  Like dreaming that you're part of a team of cavers.

Lori: Cavers?  Like miners?  Do they work for coal?

Brett: Why must you stereotype like that?  What's next, saying that anything with "Derby" in the title must be equine in nature?

Lori: Give a gal a break!!  I thought I had a pretty good guess there.

Brett: Well, yes, you were quite close on the definition.  I was just giving you a demo of my feigned outrage.

Lori: Impressive!  I thought it might have been real!

Driving advice

Road Food by flickr user baldsteve

Brett: Which lane do you drive in?

Lori: Whichever one gets me to the tastiest meal.

Brett: That's a good way to go!

Pets and Batman in the same blog post, but no Ace?

Snarling dog by flickr user dgoomany

Brett T or F: only the good die young.

Lori: TRUE!!!!!  As a lifelong Billy Joel fan, you can take that one to the vet.  (you know, like... to the bank?  Except I had no vowels to work with.)

Brett: I'm not sure "you can take that to the vet" will catch on.  Speaking of, though, are there psychiatrist vets who work with animals' qis, or are all vets strictly physical ailments?

Lori: I've seen animal shrinks on tv, but I'm positive they're full of shit.  Too bad though.  Even puppies need to vent sometimes.

Brett: I'd consider becoming a pet psychiatrist, but I don't want to deal with disturbed animals with big scary teeth.

Lori: You could have a goon bodyguard with you to jump in front if the doggies snap.

Brett: I feel like if I pull this off, I'll have a quick rise to fame.

Lori: Let's not get too far ahead of ourselves here... Pretty sure the pets have to like you.

Brett: If they don't like me, I'll hit them with oars and throw them in the ocean, so they can't spread bad reviews.

Lori: While I don't support you killing animals, I am impressed by your going green with the boat and using oars.

Brett: Well, it's cheaper than hiring a sniper.

Lori: Jeez.  You should consider going a little Batman on these pups and make your own shrink utility belt.  There may be options other than death.

Brett: Not to change topics, but you've reminded me of a question I've always had.  All those Batman gadgets must cost a lot of money... Can Bruce Wayne claim the cost as a tax deduction?

Lori: I'm sure he's got a write off or two submitted under Wayne Industries filings.

Brett: Well he better be careful.  If someone with an ax to grind made the connection, that would take the air out of his sails.

Lori: They haven't caught him yet.....

Brett: I can just picture him smoking a stogy while amusing himself thinking about how nobody is smart enough to figure out his secret.

Lori: I've never pictured him as somebody that would ooze smugness... But he probably is.

Brett: Yeah, he got it from his pa.  But don't mention that, it's a touchy subject.

Have you been eavesdropping?

Not always do the words we play lend themselves to long conversations.  But if the word reminds you of a movie quote, it's all good.

From stannisbaratheon.tumblr.com

Brett: Remember in Lord of the Rings when Sam told Gandalf he hadn't dropped an eave? That was funny.