What dreams may come

Row row row your boat by flickr user gorpie

Brett: Do you want to sing a song in rounds?  I'll start.  "Row, row, row your boat..."

Lori: Wait, I wasn't ready...

Brett: Okay, we'll try one more time.  So, do you wanna start?

Lori: Let me warm up first... Ah ah ah ah, eh eh eh eh, na na na na naaaaaaa.

Brett: Don't take too long warming up, or I might nod off.  And it's basically a roll of the dice whether I'd sing well right after waking up.

Lori: You'd have 'sleep' cred, so at least you would think you were good.  (See what I did there?  Swapped street with sleep??  Ehh??)

Brett: I see what you did... But I don't think there's such a thing as sleep cred.  Unless maybe if you weave really good dreams.

Lori: At what age do you think your dreams go from random to awesome?

Brett: I don't dream often, so I have no idea.  Maybe something changes in your head when you go through puberty?

Lori: I'm not sure.  I think puberty mostly makes people mope.

Brett: Well, I'd try to find out more, but I feel like researching dreams would end with someone putting a hex on me.

Lori: Oh.  A hex would be very bad for your qi.

Pop quiz

Igloo Festival Montreal by flickr user debounce

Brett: Pop quiz: which is likely to be peatier, a marsh or a back-yard garden?

Lori: I wouldn't normally give that a second thought... but it may depend on the weather.  And the landscaper.

Brett: I think the answer would be the marsh in most cases, but we can at least agree that they're both probably peatier than an igloo.

Lori: You know what would be cool?  Going to a rave in an igloo.

Brett: That would be awesome.  I'd take my jo.

Lori: But don't dive in the water or anything.  That would be way too cold.

Brett: Of course not.  I'll just push my ex in the water if she's there.

Lori: That's mean!  If you're going to push someone, go to your dojo.

Brett: Maybe I just need to calm down.  I should probably watch some fish swim around in an aquarium for a while, that's soothing.

Lori: That sounds nice.  Fish have that certain kind of charm.

Tale as old as time

Wine Goggles by flickr user The Taybor

Brett: Are you a wine drinker?

Lori: I am! I'm having a glass right now.  Luckily I drink at home so I'm in no danger of regretting a wine induced fling.

Brett: But what if there's a beauty at the bar waiting to meet a nice girl?

Lori: That's exactly the problem.  Too much wine can make a beast look like a beauty.  At least temporarily.

Brett: True... I think some bars use that fact to help drum up business.

Lori: And those bars also use the phrase "that's what she said" on a pretty regular basis I bet.

Brett: Well, we all have our sins.  Theirs could be much worse.

Preach it, Lori!

Black Licorice by flickr user FloydSlip

Brett: So, what is the answer to the question?  To be, or not to be?

Lori: Definitely to be.  Who wants to be the guy not being anyway?

Brett: Yo, you speak the truth.  You should go spread the word.

Lori: I'll do it over voicemails... Leave a real message after the beep, if you see what I'm saying.

Brett: I see what you did there.  I have faith that you'll find many converts.

Lori: I love converting people, to various things... it's good for my qi. :)

Brett: Are there incentives?  Like, if you convert 20 people, do you get a jade ring or something?

Lori: I think you get a shot of ouzo in and around Greece.  Not locally, though, which is cool 'cause I don't like things that taste like black licorice.

Brett: Ooh, I like licorice.  If you have anything licorice flavored and I'm near, please share!

Lori: If I could pull it off, I'd send you all the licorice ever made.  Also, the markers that smell like it.  All of it makes my nose wrinkle.

Costumes, costumes everywhere

Photowalk 42 of 52 - Maryland Renaissance Festival by flickr user dm|ze

Brett: I'm trying to figure out what to be for Halloween this year.  Have you ever bared some skin for the sake of a costume?

Lori: I have.  A bone of contention with my brother, too.  It was a costume I bought at a renaissance festival.  I shocked myself.

Brett: I might go to a renaissance festival in a couple weeks.  I'll probably just wear jeans and a t-shirt, though.

Lori: Yeah, I don't think it really matters what you wear.  Are you going to speak in a British accent, though?

Brett: Am I?  Ask me again after I've had some time to practice.

Lori: Be sure to practice a distinctive whine.  British people do that sometimes.

Brett: "Well met.  I like your tie, jolly old chap."  How was that?

Lori: Pretty good.  Try "I quite like your tie," and "pray tell, what is the date today?"

Did we choose to write this blog, or was it our destiny?

This conversation starts out kind of meta, then gives some good advice for job-seekers, then turns into something deep and philosophical.

Kangaroo & Joey by flickr user Rob-Jamieson

Brett: I didn't expect it to accept sanger, and I have no idea what it means.  Maybe it's how someone with an accent says 'singer'?

Lori: This game is strange.  It also accepts sext.  Weird.

Brett: The lesson: try any word once, you never know what they'll accept.

Lori: Like... joey?

Brett: You're smarter than that... You know what a joey is.

Lori: If you had an eye on my letters, you'd know it was the best I could come up with.

Brett: Listen, if you go in for a job interview, nobody's gonna hire you with flimsy excuses like that.

Lori: Well, well... Look at you all hip to the minds of potential employers.

Brett: Well, at least the local ones.

Lori: I see.  I'll jot that advice down anyway, just in case.

Brett: On the other hand, why try at job interviews?  It all comes down to fate anyway, right?

Lori: Depends on who you ask.  Do you think fate runs your life?

Brett: I don't know... I'll just bide my time until someone gives me a definitive answer to that question.

Lori: No one is going to just hand you a tote full of life's answers.

Brett: I know.  That makes me mad.

Lori: Well, you wouldn't want to just wait around for that anyway, right?

Brett: True.  Let me ponder it while I play the uke.

Lori: The uke, eh?  I don't know... Anyone ever bail when you play that?

Brett: Eh, I don't give an ef what other people think of my uke playing.

Lori: I'm sure your confidence charms them anyway.

What's the sexiest letter?

Beard Contest Trophies by flickr user Nick Campbell

Brett: Do you find es sexy?

Lori: If you swap the es with beards... then yes.

Finding the perfect car is all about the options

rail car by flickr user buzzygirl

Brett: The next time you buy a car you should look for one with a horn that plays tunes.  Regular old 'beep beeps' are boring.

Lori: Yes, sir!

Brett: Uh, that was a suggestion, not a command.  It's not like I'm wearing a general's hat or anything.

Lori: Ah, so I'm more like a client than a worker bee?

Brett: Exactly.  It's like I'm a vet, and I'm just giving you advice on your pet.  (Yes, in this example you have a pet car.)

Lori: I'm gonna ace this analogy.  In fact, I do name my cars... so we're in good shape already.

Brett: Awesome.  Just don't get confused and buy a rail car.  Those don't work well on the highway.

Lori: Oh, good advice.  I think as long as I don't purchase a new car under the murk of a foggy night... I'll be okay.

Brett: You'll soar through life if you keep making such great plans.

Lori: Sweet, next up, I'll buy myself a divining rod.

Brett: That should come in handy.

It's a (hypothetical) boy!

Realtor entrance by flickr user afagen

Lori: If you were to have a son, what would you name him?

Brett: I've always liked the name Aaron.  It flows off the tongue so nicely.  "Aaron, bring me a jar of peanut butter!"

Lori: He would totally grow up to sell realty.  Aaron the peanut butter loving real estate agent.

Brett: If being a realtor is what he dreams of, I won't tell him no.

Lori: How about if he wants to take a stab at taxidermy?

Brett: I would just advise him to make sure he has a visa.  From what I understand, the best taxidermists are in such demand that they do a lot of international travel.

Lori: I think you've been misinformed.  Let's try out another career now.

Brett: Maybe he'll be really good at some sport with balls and never need to worry about a real career.

Lori: And you could get the good seats by the dug out??  Always a motive...

Brett: I did think there would be some benefits for me.  But I'd be poring over his stats every day, to see if there was any advice I could offer him.  For his sake, not mine.

Lori: Just try not to be a "stage dad" trying to mop up his fame.

Brett: Me?  I wouldn't do that.  That would be rude.