Favorite forts

read me a story? by flickr user //marygrace

Brett: What are some of your favorite forts?  Don't be shy.

Lori: Definitely the ones made out of blankets that you can hide in to read.

Brett: I think that's the best possible answer to that question.  Three cheers for Lori: Cheer 1!  Cheer 2!  Cheer 3!

Lori: I'm just going to sit over here and nod in my excitement.  :)

Home, James

Pasta by flickr user myfeasts

Brett: What's your favorite thing to eat?  And would you be willing to appear in an ad for that food?

Lori: Pasta.  I love Italian food.  And I would definitely appear in an ad for it... though I suspect I would become famous somehow.  Then you'd never see me unaccompanied from the roar of my crowd of fans..... ;)

Brett: But your fame could lead to riches!  And then you could buy yourself all kinds of fancy jewelry, like opal necklaces and diamond tiaras.

Lori: Fame and jewelry?  Man, sponsorship could fit me like a glove.

Brett: Just promise me you'll hire me to drive your limo.

Lori: In a heartbeat!!!  That would be fun, just hanging out in our limo and traveling around.  The cats meow, for sure.  How do we make this happen?

Brett: Well, we start by approaching a pasta company.  Then we tell them you'll work for a discount only if they can give us the proper definition of elains <Ed: note that this would usually link to a definition, but I couldn't find one>, and otherwise they have to pay you millions of dollars to be their spokesperson.

Lori: Ok, let's do this!  I hope it works out exactly like your plan.

More fringe, more drama

Empty ring by flickr user Kilo-G

Brett: Have you ever been involved in rioting?

Lori: Oh, no.  I'm too lazy.  I did peacefully protest once.  My legs hurt for days after standing around for so long.

Brett: What were you protesting?  Trying to save the whales?

Lori: No.  I was protesting the war.  I will never understand the argument for it... How is there not a better solution yet?

Brett: Well, I've always thought the leaders of each country should face of in a boxing bout, but some people don't think that's a good solution.

Lori: That would be great!  They could air it on tv after a documentary about a has-been band.

Brett: It would really throw a curve in people's political ambitions, huh?

Lori: Totally.  And they should have to box wearing chaps over their trunks.  More fringe, more drama.

Epic post

Red Fail by flickr user griffithchris

Brett: How do you feel about the changing usage of the word fail?  (i.e. now it's commonly used as a noun)

Lori: Out of all the stupid slangs used lately, I'm pretty okay with 'fail.'  'Epic' is getting old though.

Brett: Yeah, some of the slang gets annoying.  Don't get too upset about it, though, that's bad for your qi.

Lori: Oh, I won't.  I'm considering trying to bring back 'paddy whack'... You know, with a knick knack paddy whack give the dog a bone... Thoughts?

Brett: That would be awesome.  I'd die of laughter if I heard people regularly using that in everyday conversation.

Lori: Yeah, I'd really dig it if it catches on.

Brett: Maybe we should put a hex on people that forces them to use that phrase.

Lori: I don't know.  Hexing people tends to get them all keyed up.

Brett: What if I threaten to put a cone, like the ones dogs wear, around anyone who doesn't say paddy whack?

Lori: I don't know... Can you just buy those at the vet?

Brett: Hmm... If I told the vet why I wanted them and he gave them to me, he might be forced to redo his training.

Surf's up!

Abs by flickr user alexdominguez

Lori: Do you know how to surf?

Brett: I've never done it, but I am interested in trying.

Lori: Yikes.  I wouldn't swap that experience with you.  It seems so scary.

Brett: I figure it would be a good workout for my ab muscles, though.

Lori: My dad has said he works his abs with each fart.

Brett: Interesting.  Do you think that workout plan would work for me?

Lori: Maybe.  But it can't make you very popular.  On Biggest Loser, they hit a tire with a sledgehammer.  That could work too.

Brett: I hadn't thought about how constant farting would affect people's opinions of me.  Your point is well taken.

Lori: Yes, it could result in you becoming quite a loner.

Abracadabra

Magician by flickr user Saverio Truglia

Brett: Wanna see a magic trick?  Pick any letter between a and zee.

Lori: Hmm.  I'm a little slow at these.  El?

Brett: Okay, now think of an animal that begins with el.....  Were you thinking of a lemur?  Don't lie to me.

Lori: Actually, I was thinking llama.

Brett: Well, I didn't say it was a very good trick.  (I hope they don't have jails for bad magicians.)

Lori: I think the only magicians who find trouble are the ones who bare their magical secrets.  It's a shady community after all.

Brett: You're right, it is shady.  Maybe I should wash myself clean of all association with magicians before I get caught in a witch hunt.

Lori: Hmm.  A little more extreme than I meant to make it... just approach your tricks with caution?

Brett: Maybe I should get an assistant that waits on me and can take all the blame if anything goes wrong.

Lori: Get one named Bob.  That's a good name for an assistant.

Brett: I'll stop by the employment agency on the way home from my pa's house.

Lori: I'm so happy to have been a part of this process.

Brett: I just hope I don't over inflate your ego.

The lazy man carries the heaviest load

Loaded grocery tote by flickr user pinkpaisley

Brett: Do you use totes to carry your groceries?

Lori: No, I usually just loop the bags up both arms and go.  But it's a good idea!  Do you?

Brett: Oh, I do the bags on both arms thing, too.  It can get heavy, though, if you have very far to go.

Lori: I'll make a note to myself to try the tote next time and let you know if it's any better.

Movie night

Movie night by flickr user Andrei Z

Brett: What's your favorite genre of movies?

Lori: Oh, I like so many!!  Fantasy (e.g. LOTR/Harry Potter), romantic comedies, comedies, drama.  Not to sound rude, but scary movies could disappear forever and I'd be pretty happy about it.  How about yours?

Brett: No jest: I like all of the genres you do, and could also do without scary movies.

Lori: Really?  What a riot.

Brett: Yeah, what's up with that?  Great minds think alike, I guess.

Cooking school

Broil by flickr user Prithvi Raj

Lori: Do you ever use the broil setting on your oven?

Brett: I think I used it once on accident.  I don't remember what I was trying to bake, but I realized my mistake soon after I had bitten into it.

Lori: Oh no!  Haha.  If I ever tried to bake something on the broil setting, I'm sure Jaime would roar with laughter.

Brett: I don't know, it may be better than not baking at all... What's the rawest thing you've ever eaten?

Lori: Hmm.  Maybe a carrot?  They have to die before I eat them, right?

Happy New Year!

New Years Eve at McMenamins by flickr user McMenamins Photos

Lori: Gonna do anything for New Year's Eve?  Get all dressed to the nines?

Brett: I was thinking of wearing a diaper to be baby new year.  (Not really.  I'm just the kind of guy that joshes a lot.)

Lori: It would be hard to sit around at a party in just a diaper.

Brett: Apparently you are unfamiliar with the Tao of Diaper-Wearing.

Lori: Sounds great?

Brett: Sometimes you just have to take a stand for (or in) something you believe in.

Lori: Indeed.